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Divorce is a very hurting situation and nobody should get through it alone. Where do you get divorce tips? Find a community of support. “I don’t mean a self-help group. Rather, find 1 or 2 friends who you can talk to about your feelings, and who will check in on you. DO NOT talk to married people. They won’t understand what you’re going through and will unintentionally make you feel worse. Also, stay away from judgmental people. Formerly divorced friends were my best supporters during this time.”

If you have debt in your name, like credit cards or student loans, you will want to pay those debts down as much as possible before a divorce. Most American families spend close to their entire income, if not more, and when one household becomes two, there is often not enough money to pay the both sets of expenses unless something changes. You may have to cut down disposable purchases, sell your car and get a less expensive model, or maybe sell the house. If your spouse does not voluntarily support you and the children, your remedy is to ask the Court to order support. You will not have a good prediction of any of this and you will not know the answers for sure until the agreement is signed or the judge makes a ruling. But, the point is to think about it and identify problems and possible solutions. Then take the actions that you can take and avoid missteps.

The best divorce advice I have for others going through a difficult divorce is to find a reliable support system. What I mean by that is, the divorce litigant should have a reliable friend, family member, awesome therapist, or a divorce group they can count on to talk to about the divorce and the experience. This is extremely important because divorce litigants can foolishly squander thousands of dollars either attempting to utilize the judicial system as retaliation against their spouse or exploiting their attorney as a therapist rather than for legitimate legal advice. At the cost of accumulating thousands of dollars in unnecessary legal fees and avoidable headaches, litigants can easily mitigate mistakes like these simply by voicing their frustration and feelings through therapeutic means. Talking it out will help the litigant focus on the real issues, preventing hurt feelings, sorrowful emotions, and resentment from getting in the way of resolving the divorce matter quickly and fairly.

Work together with a divorce financial planner or tax accountant to minimize the total taxes you and your spouse will pay during separation and after divorce; you can share the money you save. Don’t forget that both spouses are liable for taxes due as a result of audits on joint returns, so it’s usually in your best interest to work together and minimize possible liabilities. If you’re facing complicated tax issues in your divorce, it’s best to consult with an experienced family law attorney and an accountant. Divorcing spouses usually underestimate living expenses when they produce their initial budget for temporary alimony (also referred to as “maintenance”), and later find that they aren’t able to cover all of their bills. Use a financial professional to help you produce an accurate and complete budget.

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